Hi Doug,
No easy answer on which is best. Most folks have either the ARB or TJM bars.
Most people who actually offroad would recommend the steel bars rather than the alloy ones because of strength.
The TJM bar doesn't stick out as much as the ARB, which is why I went the TJM bar. The winch will require an additional mounting tray -about $200 . The tray mounts to the chassis, so the winch is anchored to the chassis. On the ARB bar, the winch sits in the bar..... up to you which you prefer.
From what I've seen and heard, the ARB offers more room to get your hands in and use the winch controls....but that is why it sticks out further. The winch is a tighter fit on the TJM.
Eugene